Day 4 - what no laundry??

June 15

We wake in the morning, and I find out that Chris tried to take the dogs out but couldn't get Cody down the stairs.  Yes, once again we are on the second floor.  This hotel has an outside entrance, and the stairwell up to the second floor is dark and very long and steep.  Cody was terrified the night before, but we were able to coax him up.  Now, I try to ask Chris how patient he was with the dog - manhandling him just doesn't work.  You have to be kind, because he is scared.  Chris is frustrated and impatient, I can tell that it would never have worked, he would never have gotten him down those stairs.  I say I'm going to try with Cody alone, and Chris is telling me as I walk out that I'll never get it done.  The dog is just too scared.  I walk him to the door, and through it down the hall instead of straight to the stairs.  He stalled for a moment when he saw the stairs, but came right with me when he saw I was going past them.  We walk a little ways and then I turn him and go back, we round the corner and I take the first step down the long flight of stairs.  Cody immediately belly-flops to the ground, nails digging in.  He isn't going anywhere near that death trap.  He is almost 100 pounds, so forcing him is never going to work.  We figured out the last few times that he has never seen the individual stairs, all he sees is one long leap to the bottom, which is how he usually gets down.  Normally when I work with him, he is to my left and heels there.  I realize he still hasn't figured out the individual stairs, and I have to figure out a way to show him.  I move in front of him this time, as he shakes and seems to beg me not to make him go forward.  I pull him forward with a little tug, and then release.  He inches closer, but will not put a foot over that first "ledge."  I grab his foot and place it on the first stair and quickly let go.  Holding him also makes him more afraid.  He realizes there is something there, not just empty space and with a quaking fumble, stands on the first stair with one foot.  I give him another gentle pull, and he has both feet forward now.  I move down one step, keeping right in front of him to block his view of the rest of the way down.  I tug him, and he sees the next step.  His legs are shaking, but he's doing it.  We move all the way to the bottom this way, one step at a time.  Good boy!!  I knew you could do it!!

I make a decision that the dog beds have to be washed.  The throw up is so disgusting, we can't take the smell anymore.  Every other La Quinta we have been at has a laundry room, but this one doesn't.  We have to drive down the street, what a pain! Between getting that done and more groceries for the road, we are checking out of the hotel at the last minute.  While trying to figure out lunch before we head out, our property manager in Phoenix says we forgot to sign a form.  We have to find a FedEx office to print, sign and fax it back to her, all in an area where traffic is really heavy.  Pulling the trailer is a big pain, so we decide to get on the freeway and find a gas station farther down the road where we will have more room.  We are exhausted already before we even get out of town. We are watching Cody closely, and he is feeling better so he drinks a bunch of water.  This was a little too much too soon, and he throws up again.  But that is all, no other symptoms, so we plunge on, our next pit stop outside Memphis, TN.  I miss the sign going into TN!!

It is late, and we want some local BBQ flavor in Memphis, and find only one place that is still open.  It looks deserted and not in the greatest part of town.  I am unsure about leaving the cars and trailer in the back parking lot where it is dark, and Chris is afraid of the food.  We are all frustrated with each other and end up leaving.  We drive way out of our way to find a Checkers, which we feel is like Rally's in Phoenix.

Day 3, in a panic

June 14, 2012

Oklahoma City isn't eventful, other than the room we first got smelled really bad.  Chris was able to switch us, so we were more comfortable, but this hotel isn't the best.  Cassie and I finally figure that Chris isn't getting around in the morning because we are there. We decide our new routine is to get ready first and then go out to get our first starbucks of the day while he has the room to himself.  This seems to work better, but we still don't leave very early.  We wonder why the road we take to starbucks is called Tinker Diagonal, when we know it is the I-40.  We realize why as we drive right by Tinker AFB!   On the road, we see a sign that says Chekota, and I have to play Carrie Underwood's song "I Ain't In Chekota Anymore."

Not long after we get into AK, we have a scare on the road.  There is a black pickup truck in front of us and we are boxed in by semi's behind and beside us.  The truck we are following blows a tire and starts swerving radically.  The rubber flies at us, and Cassie is quick to react, dodging even with the trailer in pull.  It is a miracle none of the debris hits us.  The driver of the truck is desperately trying to keep from veering into other lanes, and keep it on the road.  It swerves parallel to the lane we are in, and I am terrified it is going to roll and come right at us.  The driver corrects quickly, and then it is facing us for a split second before he is able to steer it to the shoulder.  Once out of the lane, the truck is off-balance because of a steep grade in the median and the vehicle looks as if it gently rolls to its side and then on the roof and finally comes to a complete stop upside down.  Cassie quickly pulls over, and we are the closest ones to him.  This all happened going about 70 mph, in the space of a couple of minutes.  I know I have to try and help, I don't see anyone else closer.  I jump out of the car and run in my flip flops back to the truck, it seems like it takes me forever to reach him.  Just as I get there, two truckers join me who had pulled over behind us.  The driver of the pickup is climbing out of the window, which is facing the sky.  Two men help him out, and we don't see any blood or scratches.  I ask if he hit his head, he says he doesn't think so.  More men show up, and I figure he is good hands and we need to get as many cars off the road as possible.  I run back and get in the car.  Chris has pulled over in the truck, but on the opposite side of the freeway and can't cross.  We sit there a moment, clutching hands, hearts pounding as Cassie starts to cry.  I tell her what an amazing job she did, keeping us out of the debris, that her quick reactions saved us from a disaster.  We get back on the road in a few minuets.  We don't say much, just trying to process and urgently thanking God for His protection and safety.

We don't go far before we see Cody is retching.  We knew one of the dogs had thrown up on the dog bed in the back of Chris' truck, and so we had put them into the car with us after a rest stop in OK.  We thought it was just the heat, but right now he isn't looking good at all.  We have to pull over off the freeway at a sign that says Ozark, 2 miles.  He walks back and forth, trying to throw up but has nothing in his stomach.  He won't drink water, and that is worrying us.  We remember he hasn't wanted water the last time we tried to give him some either.  His legs are shaking, his head seems too heavy for him to hold up.  Chris and I decide we have to find a vet.  We are fortunate to be where we are, there is a vet not far from there in Ozark.  Dr. Moom is a country vet, so very nice and sweet.  He's trying to get Cody's attention, but the dog is lethargic and non-responsive even when he tries thumping him on the head.  Cody can't seem to stand.  I am terrified he will die right there in the office.  I think for a fleeting moment that I can't do this.  I can't sit here and watch the life drain out of him, it's too much.  I want to run away, and for them to fix him right now, but I swallow down the impulse to flee and wait for a course of action.  They discover he is running a fever, and we tell Dr. Moon we haven't seen him poop in a couple of days.  After a thorough examination, Dr. Moon guesses that Cody has an infection in his spleen.  There is an enlargement there, and with the fever, he suspected Cody had it before we left Phoenix.  They give him a shot to reduce the fever and reduce pain.  We are given steroids for him to take, along with antibiotics and a stool softner if we don't see him pooping soon.  Within just a few minutes of the shot, Cody perks up and starts pacing the room.  We are all encouraged by this. Dr. Moon is very busy today, so we are led back out into the waiting room. Cassie is waiting with Soo, and her face is stricken.  We find out that a man has brought his aging Pomeranian companion in to be put to sleep.  The man is a stoic farmer, sitting in the chairs by himself trying to hold back tears.  Cassie is not so successful, and as Dr. Moon tries to comfort the man, her tears are falling.  We have to wait a few moments to pay, during which time a family brings in their older dog, wheezing and coughing and struggling to breathe.  We can't take any more, we need to get out fast and let Dr. Moon tend his patients.  We find peanut butter in the car and give Cody his first dose of meds in the parking lot.  We lift a drowzy Cody into the car, and pray that he gets better fast. 

Drugged Cody!

He clings to Soo for comfort, and keeps trying to practically lay on top of her.  She is patient, but she doesn't look to happy either.  She hasn't been eating well, and we know she hates car rides.  We get back on the road again, all of us exhausted.  Our next pit stop is Little Rock.  We are so relieved to make it and hope we can relax and get some rest after such an emotional, scary day.

Day 2 on the road

June 13, 2012

Chris and I are not morning people, so we are late getting up and around in Albuquerque.  There is discussion about how far we can make it on the road today, whether we will stop in Oklahoma City or make on into Arkansas.  We aren't sure how often the dogs will need to stop, so we will have to see.  Cassie is excited about this day of driving, because going forward will be country we have never seen.  Before we left I was hopeful that we would be able to stop along the way and sight see, but after yesterday it is clear that isn't going to happen.  The dogs are so much trouble, we can't leave them anywhere and all of us would feel bad if just one of us stayed behind with them.  I am sorry that my sister is so excited to see new things, but because of the dogs it will only be from the road.

 

 

Our first rest stop is a couple of hours outside of Albuquerque.  There are tons of stickers everywhere, and the dogs are getting them in their feet.  We can't walk them around too much, so we stay in the picnic area with them as much as possible.  It is so hot here, we are all uncomfortable, and I'm worried again about the dogs in the back of the truck. 

It is too hot to stay very long, so we enjoy our snacks and water the dogs.  I don't even take a picture of Herman here, I'm burning up and want to get back on the road again. 

We go into TX, but don't see much of it as we are traveling through the top.  It's  not too long before we are in Oklahoma, and we have decided to stay in OK City tonight.

That will be three states in one day!  Cassie wants to find some BBQ for dinner, but it looks like we are not going to make in early enough, so we end up eating at Sonic at a truck stop before we drive into the hotel for the night.  Our hotel in OK City isn't as nice as the one in NM, but we are grateful to make there safely.

Leaving Phoenix

June 12, 2012

The next morning I try to have a discussion with Chris about the need for space, and that we should rent a trailer.  He is very much against that, he thinks it is too dangerous to pull it on that long of a drive, plus the added cost of the rental and gas.  We argue, and then go to our corners to work, no decision is made.  The property manager shows up, and we are embarrassed that we have left much more to to clean the place up than we had intended.  This will of course, cost us more money, but we have no choice.  We have to leave today! After keys are exchanged, agreements are signed, Randee is finally gone.  Chris is still busy with packing up some stuff, so I make a first attempt at getting everything into the cars.  I realize, it just isn't going to work. I don't even ask Chris, but I leave and come back with a trailer.  He tells me later he was happy I did that, he just couldn't spend that money himself.  *whew* At least I am feeling much less panicky, since this was the reason for most of it - now we can just get moving.  We take off and leave 76th Ave behind without even taking any last minute pictures.  We are just happy to be leaving I think, but now I kind of wish I had thought of capturing those last snapshots - the trailer, the empty house.


We meet up with Cassie and Tom in Chandler at a Taco Bell. It is hot, and I'm already worried about the dogs being in the back of the truck.  I know Cassie doesn't want to drive with them in the car, so I'm trying to put them in with us only as a last resort.  But we are waiting for Tiffany to stop by so we can have a last goodbye, and Chris is hanging out with the dogs in front of the store.  It seems to take forever to get food eaten, say goodbye again and finally get on the road.  We are going to make to Albuquerque tonight, even though we've started out later than we wanted.


Once we are on the road, Cassie and I are happy.  We spent lots of time in the truck as kids, and we love car rides together.  We have lots to talk about, lots of good music that we love. The two hours to Payson fly by so quickly. We only stop once to get some pictures at the Mongolian Rim, and I have an idea to post pictures of Herman at odd places so we take one of him at the rim.

 

We have so many memories camping in the forests of Arizona.  I can hardly imagine that this will likely be the last time we will see the Mongolian Rim.  We've been here a thousand times, but these pictures will be a special memory to us.  In Payson Cassie tells me she has an idea to buy us Starbucks cups that we can use on the trip, we will get markers to document everywhere we go.  What a wonderful idea! At the grocery store we buy the supplies, get our cups filled with tea, and write on them in the car.  The marker isn't working very well, it comes off when you touch it, so we decide to write it all down on paper and then we will try to think of something else that will stay on the cups and add it later.  We get back on the road and head for New Mexico.  The time we have to visit, sing, and just be together is precious. While on the road I find an app for La Quinta Inns, the hotel chain we will be staying on the road.  They are the only ones I could find that didn't have a weight limit for pets.

At our hotel that night, we of course were only able to get a room on the third floor! Cody has a fear of the stairs and it takes us forever to get him into the room.  We eat a late dinner and then crash.  After sleeping on the floor in our bedroom the last couple of nights, this bed feels wonderful and we sleep well.

The Last Goodbyes are the hardest

June 13, 2012

After surviving the first party at my mom's house, I wasn't too scared about the one at my sister's the next week.  I was totally surprised to find out my aunt Linda was coming and bringing Gradma with her!  We were also expecting my cousin Jarred, so it was wonderful to be able to see everyone.  The afternoon flew by quickly.  We all especially enjoyed watching Tiffany's precious girls playing with Cassie's little Westie, Tavi.

A and M just loved playing with Tavi! They are so cute

The morning after the party at Cassie's, we all meet at Mimi's cafe to have breakfast with aunt Linda and Grandma before they leave to go back to New Mexico.  It is so wonderful to see them, and we have a great time visiting.  The waitress takes pictures for us, so now I have some perfect last-minute memories with all of us preserved.  We are all holing it together really well I think, and then as we are leaving, Aunt Linda stays behind with me.  She gives me another big hug, telling me how happy she is for us and then presses a gift into the palm of my hand.  As I process what it is, my eyes water, I can't help it.  She is so generous, I can't believe she has done this.  She can't have possibly known how tight we are on money, using everything we've saved to get to North Carolina.  The tears fall on her shoulder as I thank her, and she is crying too.  I had planned on taking more pictures outside, so now those are all tear-stained with memories. What a wonderful family I have.


















Before leaving town, all six of us met for dinner in Tempe.  It was our last time all together for quite a while, and it felt strange.  I didn't know how to process that this was a final goodbye for our little family of six. Conversation was normal, but I'm sure it felt surreal for all of us.  On the one hand it was like leaving for a vacation - excitement at a new adventure.  On the other hand it was suppose to be a goodbye - sad. I don't think we wanted it to end, I know we would have stayed all night to prolong the inevitable.  But Chris and I have so much to do still at 76th Ave.  We have decided to rent the place, so there are still some cosmetic improvements we want to to finish off in addition to packing all the last-minute stuff.  Before even that, we are going to meet at mom and dad's house to pick up the laundry mom has been washing for me.  Chris and I know it will be a really long night, so we have to be the ones to finally say we need to get going.  At mom and dad's house, we sit and try to visit for a while, but conversation is hard won.  We are all feeling numb, not quite sure how to leave one last time.  At the curb, there are more hugs, but I have no tears even though I can see mom is crying.  I think there is just no way to process that this is a final goodbye, and I don't know when I'll see them again.  It feels like we are going on vacation and will be back again. I feel like I'm hurting my mom's feelings by not being more upset, but I don't know how to process this.  I think to myself that it will all hit me sometime later and I'll probably call her on the phone to cry about it. Then we leave, and we don't even have time to stop and think any more about it, because we are discussing everything we have to get done tonight, and what we can leave for tomorrow.  Chris is hoping we will get everything in the two car's, but I've left a lot out because I'm not sure what we will need for the house. I  had to re-organize our plan because the pod is now coming a week after we are in our new house. I've had to think of all we might need in addition to packing all our stuff.  I'm worried it won't all fit into the cars, especially since the dogs will take up one entire vehicle all by themselves.  We are up way too late, and finally fall into our sleeping bags in the now-empty bedroom.  I still have lots of clothes that aren't packed and I'm running out of boxes.  I am in a near panic that it won't all fit, and during the night I realize I am mostly worried about it all fitting into the cars, not the clothes in the boxes.

Gathering #1

July 2, 2012

I have been sick all week, and today as we drive to my parent's house I have the same feeling as when I'm on the way to a dentist appointment.  I suddenly realize that all week I have been dreading this day, having so many people that I know and love in one place.  At our wedding, Chris and I were terrible hosts, and this feels like that again.  We don't like large crowds, and especially we don't like being the center of attention.  I haven't been able to eat much, and I keep wishing this would just be over with. I have been debating back and forth for a few months now weather or not I was going to let mom and Cassie host this party.  One day I would feel up to it and think it would be fun, another day I would be terrified of that many people there with only me in common to all of them! At the last moment I finally decided to do it, because I knew I wanted to see as many people as I could before I left, and this was the only way since we have so little time left.

At mom and dad's house, everyone seems kind of sad.  Not exactly the way I wanted to start this "going away" party.  But as usual they have done a great job, and things look great.  The first person to arrive is Marianne.  Our sweet and wonderful small group leader that Chris and I just love.  When we first started going to her small group at Vineyard, she wasn't sure what the Lord had planned for its future.  We were proud to be there for her as she discovered its true mission, an annual orphan awareness seminar.  Visiting with her is special, and we hope she knows how much she has meant to us through the years.  It turns out that she dated a man that my parents went to high school with in Aztec, NM.  I get out their yearbooks, and she is able to find him! Amazing.

More people arrive, and we are grateful to all our wonderful friends.  Matt and Anita with their two girls Leanna and Kalia; Anita's cousin and my friend/former co-worker Christina; our childhood friends Elizabeth and Joanna and their kids; Cassandra, Mike and their son Sammy; my friend Grace from St. Mary's Food Bank.  It was a little stressful mingling, trying to connect with everyone, but after people have left, I am so glad I was able to go through with this.  All the girls played Nertz while the dad's watched kids, it was so fun!  At some point, Matt came up and asked me if I would want Anita to come help me pack.  He said he would take a day off work and watch the girls if I would ask her to come help. *sniff* What a thoughtful, wonderful thing to offer.  I was drowning in all that work to do alone, so of course I took him up on that!

Afterward, Matt and Anita stayed behind so we could all go out to dinner together.  I felt terrible leaving mom and Cassie to do all the cleanup, but I knew they would gladly not only throw the party for me, but clean up too so that I could see my friends.  We have a wonderful time visiting with our friends, and Leaunna cuddles on my lap because she is cold in Cracker Barrel.  I savor her sweet little body folded against my chest, her little hands on my arms.  I know the next time I see her she will be much older, and wonder if she will even remember me.  I make sure to give lots of kisses and hugs. All three of my girlfriends are so special!

At home, I feel as if a thousand pounds are lifted from my shoulders.  I hadn't realized just how miserable I was anticipating that party today.  I feel much more energized to tackle all the packing, especially since Anita will be coming Monday to help.  Thank God for BFFS!

Beginning of the Goodbye's

June 1, 2012

After all the misery at this house in Phoenix, we got an opportunity through Chris’ work to move.  My current state of unsettlement is so great that moving across the country to North Carolina doesn’t seem like that far away.  It is just not here, and that is good (how little we hope for ourselves when all we want is the pain to go away!)  I haven’t started packing yet, because there are so many details that are yet to be confirmed.  We don’t have a time frame, we aren’t sure when we HAVE to be there. But I have started telling people, and that feels like I am “faking it till I make it.”  I want so much to believe that this really could happen. 

Tuesday’s have changed for me in the past few months.  Breaking up the monotony that is my life spent on my couch at home, I agreed to help my friend Michele.  She and her husband Jim recently became foster parents (how wonderful, so happy for her, she is so good at that ministry; I pray through this God brings a child they can adopt as their own).  Michele is a worship leader at her church, and she has leadership meetings on Tuesday mornings.  She asked me to babysit her first charge, a little boy called J. I’ve been doing that for a while now, J and I hang out at Metro Center mall in the kids play area since Michele’s meeting is only an hour long.  After, we all go to lunch. The story of how this came to be is one I should tell – maybe later.  A couple of weeks ago Michele got another blessing, and Princess is five.  The first time I watched her I was so nervous.  J is just a baby, and he is so used to be passed from one place to another that he has no reaction when I take him from Michele.  But Princess is old enough to know, to be unsure.  How am I going to make it OK for her, another stranger she doesn’t know?  The first time I worked really hard, played with her at the park, talked a lot about “Tuesday’s with Melissa.” It worked really well, and I was told by Michele that Princess named her Barbie “Melissa.” *sniff* That is so sweet.  Now I am feeling bad about having made all that effort, because it seems like the move really will happen.  Today I am meeting Michele, Princess and J to say goodbye. I share with my friend my favorite Chinese food, and we enjoy laughing and watching the kids play.  This is the last time I'll see them, and none of us wants it to end so quickly, so I suggest we all go to the mall one last time.  It is bittersweet, and Michele and I grieve for all the years we lost when we were not connected.  She gives me a beautiful card and we cry a little.  We are hopeful that someday she'll be able to come visit, have that to look forward to.